September 6, 2007
Someone probably touched his nuts
Do you remember in the scary and tumultuous days following September 11, 2001, when news sites like CNN.com were so busy that the servers were overloaded? The amount of information being presented was constant, it seemed, and rapidly changing. It felt as if the world we'd known before would never return.
This morning, less than a week before the sixth anniversary of the attack, CNN.com is linking to a story from an Orlando affiliate about a new, vicious attack on innocent, God-fearing Americans.
Squirrel Attacks At Day Care
I think it is important to read between the lines here, incidentally. When a child is bitten nine times by a tiny rodent, that is a child that is grabbing said rodent.
Anyway, my favorite line, the one that made me feel like despite it all, we're all going to be okay in this grand rough world, is the last one:
"None of the injuries seem to be life-threatening, officials said."
Thank God. When squirrels kill Americans, the terrorists win.
BREAKING NEWS: In the time it took to post this entry, they've updated the story. It is now a story about a three-year-old HOSPITALIZED because of the squirrel attack. Not so amusing now, I suppose. Apparently he was on a swing when the attack came, from a squirrel so nasty and cruel and unrelenting that it even took on a Florida Highway Patrol trooper.
So my apologies if it seems that I am not giving this scary squirrel attack the gravitas that it deserves.
Although I wouldn't be me if I didn't point out the NEW, equally delightful last line:
"The squirrel in the playground attack managed to escape."
So, you know, be vigilant, citizens.