January 7, 2013

"Once more unto the breach..."

Today on Support for Special Needs, thoughts on Schuyler's return to school after the break, and how that maybe feels a little different in some ways for those of us with kids with disabilities.

If you're a parent in a similar situation this week, you know I'm feeling what you're feeling. And I know that it's... complicated.


Me said...

I think I get that I really really don't understand. But I've thought about the following suggestion for a long time and I've decided that the possibility that it just might be something you hadn't considered and just might be useful to you is more important than my discovering that I am more insensitive than I'd thought. Here it is. Have you ever considered having a day a week when all three family members can only communicate via AC?

helen-louise said...

I don't comment at Support for Special Needs because I'm not part of that community. I'm of the opinion that there are actually at least three, entirely separate, "disability communities":

1) Parents of children with disabilities.

2) Parents/siblings/guardians/caretakers of adults with disabilities who cannot advocate for themselves.

3) Adults with disabilities who can advocate for themselves.

I fit into (3), and because my disabilities were acquired in adulthood, there really isn't much I can say in support of people in (1). So it's not appropriate for me to register over on that site and comment there.

But I do have to say, in response to your most recent post, what the actual fuck? If there’s one thing I’d pay real cash money to never hear again, it would be how Schuyler’s middle school challenges are just like those of any other thirteen year-old girl. How stupid are people? Schuyler has all the challenges of a 'normal'/neurotypical 13 year old girl plus the extra challenges of her monster. What the hell? Really. How difficult is that to understand?

You have my permanent respect for not going round hitting people whenever they are that deliberately stupid. Also *hugs*, if desired.


mooserbeans said...

I think the people who are telling you that her problems are like other 13 year old girls are trying to find common ground. I am sure you know that is well meaning, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. Because I have listened to my 14 year old daughter's POV about what goes on at middle school, I can only imagine what your daughter is going through. I know how mean girls can be. I also know how clueless many middle school teachers can be. Only a few kids seem to come out of middle school unscathed and some have it much worse. There has to be a way to fix the system. I wish that I had some sort of magic advise for you.